If you’ve spent any time in AA rooms, you’ve probably heard someone open a meeting or a Big Book study with a short, quiet request: help me set aside what I think I already know. That’s the Set Aside Prayer, and for many people in recovery, it’s become just as important as the Serenity Prayer.
This guide walks through what the prayer actually says, where it likely came from, why it matters so much in twelve-step recovery, and how real people work it into their daily routine from first thing in the morning to the moments right before a hard conversation.
What Is the Set Aside Prayer
The Set Aside Prayer is a short, informal prayer used in Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step fellowships. Its purpose is simple: to ask a Higher Power for help letting go of fixed ideas, ego, and old assumptions so a person can stay open to new experience.
It isn’t a scripted ritual with strict rules. It’s more like a mental reset button — something members say before a meeting, before reading AA literature, or before starting step work, so they can approach recovery with a clear head instead of a defensive one.
A few quick facts:
- It is not part of official AA-conference-approved literature.
- It is not found word-for-word in the original 1939 Big Book.
- It is widely believed to have grown out of grassroots recovery workshops and Big Book study groups rather than from a single named author.
- It’s often recited alongside the Serenity Prayer, but the two serve different purposes.
Why The Set Aside Prayer Matters In AA
Recovery asks people to do something that sounds simple but is actually one of the hardest things a human being can do: admit they might be wrong about themselves.
Many people entering AA carry years of self-protective thinking — the belief that they already understand their drinking, their disease, or even their own character. That kind of certainty can quietly block growth. The Set Aside Prayer works against this by asking for humility before the work even starts.
This matters in recovery because:
- Old thinking patterns often fuel relapse.
- Defensiveness makes it harder to hear feedback from a sponsor or group.
- Willingness — not intelligence or willpower — is what tends to predict long-term sobriety.
- Ego and “I already know this” thinking are common triggers for resentment and isolation.
In short, the prayer isn’t about religion first. It’s about mindset.
Full Alcoholics Anonymous Set Aside Prayer
There are a few versions of this prayer circulating in AA meetings, since it was never formally published. The most commonly used version reads something close to this:
“God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, these steps, and especially You, so that I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things. Please help me see the truth.”
Some groups add references to letting go of assumptions about other people, or about the fellowship itself, before asking for a new experience and the truth. The wording shifts slightly from group to group and region to region, but the core request stays the same: set aside what I think I know, and give me an open mind instead.
Simple Meaning Behind The Prayer
Strip away the spiritual language, and the message is very practical. It’s asking for three things:
- Permission to be wrong. You don’t have to have it all figured out.
- An open mind. Old conclusions get parked at the door.
- A fresh start. Every meeting, every reading, every conversation is a chance to see something new.
This is why people describe the prayer as a small daily act of surrender rather than a big dramatic gesture. It’s not asking for a miracle. It’s asking for a mindset.
How To Use The Prayer In Daily Recovery
One reason this prayer has spread so widely, even without being official AA literature, is because it’s easy to use throughout the day. It doesn’t require a church, a book, or even privacy — just a moment of quiet.
In The Morning
Many people say the prayer first thing after waking up, before checking their phone or starting the day’s obligations. This sets an intention: today, I will try to stay open instead of reactive.
Before Difficult Conversations
Whether it’s a talk with a spouse, a boss, or a sponsor, saying the prayer beforehand can help someone enter the conversation without assuming they already know how it will go — or how the other person will react.
During Stress Or Cravings
When cravings or high stress hit, old thinking patterns tend to resurface fast. A short, silent recitation of the prayer can create a pause between the urge and the reaction.
While Reading AA Literature
Some members say the prayer specifically before opening the Big Book or the 12&12, so they can absorb the material with fresh eyes instead of skimming it as something they’ve “already read.”
Set Aside Prayer Before AA Meetings
It’s common to hear this prayer said quietly, or as part of the group opening, right before a meeting begins. The idea is to walk into the room ready to listen rather than ready to defend old opinions or compare stories.
For newcomers especially, saying this prayer before a meeting can reduce the instinct to judge the group, the format, or the people sharing. It reframes the meeting as an opportunity to learn something new rather than confirm what’s already believed.
Set Aside Prayer For Open Mindedness
Open-mindedness is one of AA’s three core suggested attitudes, alongside honesty and willingness. The Set Aside Prayer speaks directly to this because it targets the exact thing that blocks open-mindedness: certainty.
| Core AA Principle | How The Set Aside Prayer Supports It |
| Honesty | Encourages admitting you don’t have all the answers |
| Open-Mindedness | Directly asks for a new perspective and fresh experience |
| Willingness | Frames recovery as something to keep learning, not something already mastered |
Letting Go Of Old Beliefs And Fear
For many people, addiction is tangled up with old beliefs about identity — “I’m just built this way,” “nothing can help me,” or “I already tried everything.” Fear often hides underneath those beliefs: fear of change, fear of failure, fear of who they’d be without the substance.
The Set Aside Prayer doesn’t argue with those beliefs. It simply asks for the willingness to loosen their grip, even briefly. That small loosening is often enough to let a new idea, a new relationship, or a new coping tool get through.
The Spiritual Side Of The Set Aside Prayer
AA describes itself as spiritual rather than religious, and this prayer reflects that distinction well. It can be addressed to God, a Higher Power, the Universe, or simply “Good Orderly Direction” — a phrase some non-religious members use instead.
The spiritual core isn’t about doctrine. It’s about acknowledging something bigger than the self, and being willing to receive guidance from it instead of relying purely on self-will, which many members describe as part of what drove their addiction in the first place.
How The Prayer Helps With Sobriety
Sobriety isn’t just about not drinking — it’s about changing the thinking that led to drinking in the first place. The Set Aside Prayer supports long-term sobriety in a few concrete ways:
- It interrupts automatic, rigid thinking before it turns into a relapse trigger.
- It builds a daily habit of humility, which supports consistent step work.
- It makes it easier to accept feedback from sponsors, therapists, or group members.
- It reduces the isolating effect of “I know better,” which can quietly separate someone from the support they need.
Set Aside Prayer For Beginners In AA
Newcomers often walk into their first meetings carrying skepticism, shame, or both. The Set Aside Prayer can be especially useful early on because it doesn’t ask a newcomer to believe anything specific — only to stay open.
For someone new to the program, this prayer can help with:
- Letting go of the fear of being judged
- Reducing resistance to slogans or steps that sound cliché at first
- Approaching Step One with real honesty instead of partial admission
- Feeling less pressure to “get it right” immediately
Common Lessons People Learn From This Prayer
Members who use this prayer regularly often describe similar realizations over time:
- Certainty was often a form of self-protection, not truth.
- Old ideas about “who I am” were assumptions, not facts.
- Real change requires ongoing willingness, not a one-time decision.
- Humility isn’t weakness — it’s what makes learning possible.
- Fear of the unknown is normal, but it doesn’t have to be in charge.
Morning Reflection With The Set Aside Prayer
Starting the day with this prayer, even for thirty seconds, gives many people a mental anchor. Instead of reacting to whatever the day brings from a place of old habits, they begin from a place of intentional openness.
A simple morning routine might look like this:
- Say the prayer quietly upon waking.
- Take a few slow breaths.
- Set one small, achievable intention for the day (such as “I will listen more than I speak”).
This kind of short, repeatable ritual tends to be far more sustainable than long, complicated morning routines — especially in early recovery, when energy and motivation can be inconsistent.
Healing, Humility, And Personal Growth
Healing in recovery rarely happens in a straight line. The Set Aside Prayer supports the slower, quieter parts of that process — the humility to admit a relationship needs repair, the openness to accept a hard truth from a sponsor, the willingness to try a suggestion that sounds uncomfortable.
Personal growth in AA is often described less as “fixing” a person and more as continually unlearning old patterns. This prayer gives that unlearning a simple, repeatable shape.
Finding Peace Through The Set Aside Prayer
Peace, in this context, isn’t the absence of struggle. It’s the relief that comes from not having to have all the answers. Letting go of the pressure to already know everything — about the disease, the steps, or oneself — creates room to simply be present.
For many in recovery, that shift from control to openness is where real peace starts to take hold.
FAQ’s
Is the Set Aside Prayer official AA literature?
No. It is not found in the Big Book or any AA-conference-approved material, but it is widely used informally in meetings and study groups.
Who wrote the Set Aside Prayer?
There is no confirmed single author. It’s generally believed to have developed through recovery workshops and Big Book study circles rather than one person.
Can non-religious people use this prayer?
Yes. Many members address it to a Higher Power of their own understanding, including non-religious concepts like “Good Orderly Direction.”
When should I say the Set Aside Prayer?
Common times include the morning, before meetings, before reading AA literature, and during moments of stress or craving.
How is it different from the Serenity Prayer?
The Serenity Prayer focuses on acceptance and courage, while the Set Aside Prayer focuses on humility and openness to new experience.
Do I need to memorize the exact wording?
No. Since there’s no single official version, saying it in your own words with the same intention works just as well.
Conclusion
The Set Aside Prayer may not appear in AA’s official literature, but for countless people in recovery, it has become one of the most practical tools available. It doesn’t ask for perfection or blind faith — just a willingness to loosen the grip on old ideas long enough to let something new in.
Whether it’s whispered in the morning, before a meeting, or in the middle of a hard moment, its message stays the same: set aside what you think you know, and stay open to the truth. That small act of humility, repeated daily, is often where lasting change quietly begins.
